Steph the Stellar Speller
by Degrassi Rules8
Summary: Steph's vocab skills are put to the test to show what she knows through a school spelling bee, but she fears the worst will happen meanwhile, it's no laughing matter when Joey's having a hard time with his career as a comedian.


Waaaake Up!

"Hello, and you're watching Wake Up San Francisco. I'm Rebecca Donaldson and am glad that you can join us!"

"And I'm Danny Tanner and am glad that you can listen to the same greeting each day."

"Now, Danny, is that really the way to greet the folks who are watching at home?"

"Sure, they love it! What's a show without humor? If it needed it…"

"Top story of today: Child Obesity: How much are you really feeding your child? Does the scale outweigh the child or does the child outweigh…the scale?"

"Well you know, Becky, in my experience, raising a child can be a hefty responsibility. Literally."

"Talk about big pounds, and here today with us…"

Show clips of San Francisco and house

Enter Michelle, Stephanie with a dictionary on her head.

"Michelle, do you know how to spell happy?"

"Yes, I do." She flashes a smile.

"Very funny, Michelle."

Michelle pouts

"You're right, Michelle. Smiling does mean being happy, but I was looking for more like a…spelling bee type of thing."

"Ok. I'll can catch one at the park today. They're preeeeetty tricky and I'm feeling veeery lucky."

Steph sighs

"Kids can say the darndest things."

Michelle thumbs up

"You got it, dude."

Enter Joey and Jesse

"Joey, I'm tired of hearing of your overplayed chicken jokes. Gotta think of where that stop button is."

"Jess, come on. I get that all the time."

"Get what?"

"Rebuttals. It's nothing new. Cat got your tongue? A geh geh geh geh…whoa!"

"You know? You're right. Let's face it. You get that from everyone…all the time. It sure is a big surprise. [annoyed So why don't ya just quit it?"

Stephanie turns to Michelle

"Can't get an agreement out of those two."

She faces the Joey and pats his back.

"Joey, don't worry. I like your jokes. Even if they aren't so funny."

"Really? You do? Well, how about this one? Achem…Now you listen, big bird, don't be such a big chicken."

"Uh, I take that back. Maaaybe I don't like your jokes, even if they weren't so funny."

"See what I mean?"

Jesse slides onto the counter, Joey sitting in a chair.

"Ehh, let's face it. I'm desperate for a laugh. Maybe I'll go into meet Michelle in her room and crack a joke or two."

Jesse arises from the counter and opens a can of soda

"Or maybe just crack a window or two."

"Come on, Michelle, time for happy hour."

"You got it, dude."

She flashes a big smile.

"Uh, by the way, Steph. Mind if I ask you why there's a big dictionary on your head?"

"What can I say? I'm defined. Haha, I quack myself up."

Jessie laughs really loudly then subsides as he sees Joey giving him a dirty look.

"What? The kid was funny and I laughed."

He whispered to Steph

"Don't let him get to ya. HE's just going through a rough time. Stay funny, kiddo."

He patted the dictionary, because he would be patting her head instead.

Exit Michelle and Joey

"Uncle Jesse, there's this thing that's going on in school."

"Well, that depends."

"Depends on what?"

"Well, uh, is it a good thing or a…bad thing? Because let me tell you, I've heard it all. From the geek getting stuck in his own locker to the infamous 'my-dog-ate-my-homework'."

"But Comet actually did eat my homework one time."

Uncle Jesse looks uneasy

"Well, what's the good-bad thing?"

"An in-between."

"Well, what could be in-between?"

"Well see, there's this…spelling bee and I was just thinking if I should enter it."

"Steph, I think you should. A guy like me should know how to spell onomatopoeia without using spell check."

"Onomala-what?"

"A really big word."

"Oh."

Jesse is about to exit when…

"If you don't mind me asking…what's a dictionary doing on your head?"

Stephanie pretended to be surprised to notice what was on her head.

"Hey, how'd this get here?"

Show clips of San Francisco

Enter Kimmy, Joey, Jessie, Michelle in scene

"Hey, Tanneritos."

"Hi, Kimmy."

silence

"What's the matter, Steph? I said hi. Cat got your tongue?"

"Cat got your ibrain/i?"

Michelle laughs

"Ha Ha Ha."

Joey looks at Michelle sternly and Jessie moves over to her

"Now, Michelle, listen carefully. You see, our friend Joey is having a hard time getting laughs for his jokes, and we don't want to get him upset. So from now on, we'll laugh at everything he says."

"You got it, dude."

She turns to Joey

"Ha Ha Ha."

He looks confused

"Why is she laughing?"

"Beats me."

Joey leaves, Jessie picking up Michelle and leaving also

Kimmy moves over to Steph

"Gee, Steph! I didn't know you were Siamese twins with a dictionary."

"And I didn't know you were Siamese twins with a doe-doe head. Wait. Actually, I did know that. Anyway, there must be a definition in here for minding-your-own-business."

"Hey, are you calling me dumb?"

"Way to go, Kimmy!"

Enter DJ

"Kimmy! I was looking for you everywhere. Where were you?"

"At home sweet home. Where else?"

"Well, I mean, we have that project to do. It's due Monday!"

"Don't worry, Deej. I got this one covered."

"Oh yeah? Like the last time when you got our project covered in homemade slime?"

DJ goes up the stairs then turns around

"By the way, if you mind me asking…Steph, what's that big dictionary doing on your head?"

"It runs in the family."

Kimmy and DJ exit. Stephanie walks over to a dining room chair.

"Page 430. In-tol-er-ant. Intolerant. Hey! I know that word. Maybe the spelling bee won't be so bad after all."

Chapter Two: Complaints and Retention

Full House will return.

Back to Full House.

Show clips of San Francisco

"Happy-face, Michelle. Happy-face, Michelle."

"Michelle, not now. Whatever happened to happy hour with Uncle Jesse?"

"Happy hour is boring."

She crawls up into a chair

"What are you doing?"

"I'm studying."

"Studying what?"

"A spelling bee at school, remember?"

"You're going to catch a bee?"

"Well, I guess you can put it that way."

Michelle's hands on hips

"But that was my job!"

Stephanie looks confused

Enter Danny

"Scrubbin' the floor. I'm gonna scrub the floor. Pickin' up the trash. I'm gonna pick up the trash. Hey, girls."

"Hi, dad. Do you think you can help me?"

"With what? I have a million things to clean."

Picks up a sock.

"Including putting Joey's sock back where it belongs."

"But didn't you just clean?"

"You know, honey, when I said 'what's your question' I didn't really mean for the question to be about my personal cleaning life."

"Sorry dad. Ok, let me start over. There's this big spelling bee and—"

"She's going to catch a bee and that's supposed to be my job."

Michelle shakes her head.

"Aw, come here, Michelle."

Scoops up Michelle

"Exactly. Even Michelle knows. How am I supposed to be tested on words that I don't even know? It's too hard."

"You know, honey, spelling bees don't have to be so hard. In fact, you shouldn't even be studying the dictionary. It's impossible."

Michelle waves her index finger in the air

"Vewy impossible."

"But dad, I don't want to disappoint you."

"What do you mean 'disappoint me?'"

"Well, I want to make sure you'll love me even if I do mess up."

"Yeah, but Steph, you don't disappoint me. Even if you didn't know how to spell some words here and there. In fact, I even misspell some words. Even Joey and Uncle Jesse too."

"Yeah. He told me."

Danny laughs

"So you mean you won't laugh at me? Like you did just now?"

"Laugh? At my own daughter? Of course when you're being the silly self you are, but I'm your dad and you should know better that the only unnecessary laughter that comes from my mouth is from…Joey's cheesy jokes. But then again, I sometimes don't even laugh at that. And if I did, it's not real laughter. It's staged. But if it's staged laughter and I'm not on stage—"

"Dad!"

"Oh, thanks honey. Anyway, I would be a total fool to laugh at you. I should be supporting you instead. Go for it, Steph. Just keep your nose out of the books once in a while."

"These bees are giving a looooot of twouble!"

"By the way, missy, aren't you ready for a date at the park today?"

"You got it, dude."

Enter Kimmy

"Hola, Mr. T. I thought I heard someone come in."

"Well, you did…unfortunately and it's, uh…very pleasant…to see you…again. Now, don't come again!

"Yeah, dad, boot her out."

Stephanie gets up and crosses her arms.

"I can't leave now. I'm working with DJ on the project. DJ!!"

Yells up the stairs. Enter DJ

"Your dad here's trying to give me the boot!"

Stephanie walks around the room

"Boots…bees…I'm going bananas!"

"What's up with her?"

Stephanie turns around

"She's going bananas, it's so obvious."

"Hey, how do you know that word?"

"I don't know. I just saw it in the dictionary somewhere and it looked really [searches through dictionary sophisticated."

"By the way, I know of a very effective way to pass the spelling bee."

"You do? Wow, I gotta hear this."

"Mr. T? Come over here."

"Don't call me Mr. T. And if it has to do with my lucky socks that have been dirty for years, don't even think about it. I cleaned them last week."

"Darn! The gross-me-out socks would have eventually gotten to the teachers for good."

DJ crosses over and back up the stairs

"Not to mention…gross!"

The phone rings

"I'll get it."

DJ re-enters the room

"Kimmy, it's your mom. She wants you home now."

"Okay, Deej. I'll talk to you later about the project."

"How can we talk later when we haven't even spent time on it when you were over here?"

"Wait…what?"

"Never mind. I'll talk to you later, I guess."

Kimmy exits and Stephanie looks up and clasps her hands

"Thank you."

Enter Jesse and walk into living room

"Hey, Danny. I'm just about to hit the road for tonight's performance over at the Rock Café."

"Hey, uh. Break a leg."

"No, Danny. We never say that for good luck. We say…se rompe una pierna."

"Se rompe una…wait! That means—"

"Okay. Gotta go! Bye bye!"

closes door

Stephanie enters living room

"I don't wanna study anymore."

"What did I tell you about that, Steph?"

"I know, dad. It's just…I'm nervous. I have never been nervous like this in my life of 9 years."

sits down and Danny sits beside her

"There's plenty of time to feel nervous. You're too young to feel that way."

Stephanie looks down

"Besides, I know what you need. You need to take it easy. Have you ever heard of downtime?"

"I'm sure it's in the dictionary somewhere."

"We're going to the park tonight. Do you wanna come or do you just want to stay home with Uncle Joey?"

Enter Joey

"Hey, Danny…you down here? I have this big gig at Comedy Zone tonight. Someone needs to watch Michelle can you do that?"

Stephanie looks at her dad

"After all, I'm not allowed to be home alone yet, am I?"

They hug

Show clips of San Francisco

Rock café

Group of girls with Jesse's girlfriend.

"Well, this is Jesse's night. He promised to sing me a special song dedicated to me."

"Oh, that is so great!"

"Yeah, and through all that mousse you'd think there was soft side to him."

"Okay, guys. We're gonna be setting up in about a few."

Tall random girl passes by with extreme 80s hair

"Whoa, how much hairspray did she put in that palooka-do?"

One of Jesse's friends

"Hey, Jess. Got the amps?"

"Yes, of course. And Roger, what's with you and the amps? Take it easy, alright? Can't a guy trust his own pal? Now, let's warm up! And a 1 and a 2 and a 1, 2, 3, 4!"

Chaos comes out from the speaker

"Whoa, whoa whoa! What's this? Didja hear a count or what were ya hearin', guys? Really!"

To himself

"Well, this is going to be a long night."

Back at the house

"Gee whiz, Bill."

Joey enters the main room with a smile on his face

Danny puts hands in pockets and moves over to him

"I'm guessing the comedy show went okay."

"Oh, more than okay. Met this girl who likes all of my jokes, but that's not all she likes…"

In his Porky Pig impersonation.

"Hibbydee hibbydee, that's not all folks!"

Danny laughs

"She says she wants us to go out for dinner sometime."

"Hey, that's great."

Joey gets solemn and moves over to couch.

"I just wish that I didn't lose my confidence so quickly as I did."

"Well, Joey at least you learned a valuable lesson about self-confidence. I mean, let's face it, you have talent. The girls love you, they like your jokes, we all love your impersonations. Just need to have more faith."

"Yeah, and I also learned that big bird and big chicken joke is out the door."

They both laugh

Stephanie + DJ's room

"Yeah…really? Well, he shouldn't have done that…oh the poor kid. Silly pranks…"

Enter Stephanie and Michelle

"Hey, D.J."

"We're baaaaaack."

"Hey, I've got company. Talk to you later. Bye."

She hangs up

"Do you feel a lot better after that walk around the park?"

"Somewhat. Thanks."

She moves to her side of the room onto her bed and puts her hands on her cheeks.

"I'm still not feeling great about the bee. And it's on Monday. What am I going to do?"

We will return to Full House

Chapter 3: Conclusion

Back to Full House

Show clips of San Francisco

Rock Café

Jesse is shown singing and applause follows

"Hey, yeah! Now, we're just gonna steal the spotlight for my good man, Chase. He's been my number one fan when I was just starting out and has been loyal ever since. So, everyone, say hello to Chase."

Everyone says hello

"I just wanted to say that Jesse is a good man with good morals, and of course, with good hair."

"Hey, that mousse really does pay off. And this NEXT next song, right after the song for my beloved, is dedicated to this wonderful individual. This'll be the last song for the night."

the music starts

show house at night

Show Stephanie having a nightmare, tossing and turning in bed

Her dream

"Hey, Michelle Tanner…the BAD SPELLER [kids laugh. Hey, could you spell the word D-O-G? No, wait! You already have one, so you're cheating. [kids laugh"

Stephanie is saying no over and over

"I know how to spell!"

"Please. She couldn't even spell her own name, even if she tried! How did she ever get an A in spelling? kids laugh and taunt. Steph's a bad speller. Steph's a bad speller. Steph's a bad speller!"

DJ tries to wake her up

"S-T-E-P-H-A-N-I-E! Stephanie. Now leave me alone!!"

She wakes up

"DJ?"

"Stephanie. It's all right. You just had a bad dream."

Cries

"DJ, it was horrible! The kids wouldn't stop making fun of me. They kept laughing and asking me questions and thought that I couldn't spell! I don't want to do the spelling bee. NEVER!"

"You know, Steph, let me tell you something. I remember my first spelling bee. In fact, I acted just the way you did. I even had a similar nightmare. But it's not the end of the world if you don't make it to the finalists. I know I didn't, but I can say that I was pretty darn close."

"How close?"

"Close enough that the word I got to was subconscious."

"How do you spell that?"

"Why don't you try it?"

"Okay."

Stephanie closes her eyes

"S-U-B…C-O-N…S-I-O-U-S."

"Ooh, so close. That's how I lost. I forgot the second 'c' in the word."

"I don't know what 'c' you're talking about, but okay."

They laugh and hug

"So you think I'm ready for that spelling bee?"

"Absolutely."

At school

"Hey, Stephanie. Are you ready for this year's spelling bee?"

"Sure, Todd. I'm so ready."

"Remember, it's for the semi-finalist spot."

Stephanie looks worried

"You're not WORRIED, are you?"

"Who, me? Worried? No! No. Don't be silly!"

"You should be. I heard last year, the hardest word was olomatopoeida, or something like that."

"Hey, I know that word."

"Yeah, right."

"Well, I do. Uncle Jesse told me."

In awe

"He did?!"

"Yeah, he told me that he had to use the spell-check to see if he was right. Scary, huh?"

"Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to the fourth grade class spelling bee. This will determine whether or not they will be one of the semi-finalists."

Applause

"First up, Stephanie Tanner."

Todd

"Go get 'em, Steph."

Applause grows

"Okay, Stephanie. Are you ready for your first word?"

"Ready as I'll ever bee."

Laughter

"Okay. Your first word is…'happy… 'happy.'

Stephanie smiles to herself.

"Happy. H-A…"

Credits begin


End file.
